Should You Use Passive Voice in Fiction Writing

Many writing articles tell you that active voice is the way to go. But what about using passive voice in fiction writing? Is it wrong? This article will help you understand passive voice and if you should use it in your writing.

There is an ongoing debate about passive voice versus active voice in fiction writing. Some writers argue that passive voice can be used to create specific effects. However, other writers say that it weakens clarity, engagement, and impact in narrative.

Arguments in Favor of Passive Voice:

• Variety and Style: Supporters of passive voice argue that using it can occasionally add variety to sentence structures and prevent monotony in prose.
• Emphasizing Recipients: Passive voice can direct attention to the recipient of an action, which allows readers to emphasize the impact on characters, settings, or objects.
• Detachment: Passive voice can lead to detachment from the narrative, but in specific storytelling contexts this can be valuable.
• Mystery and Intrigue: By purposely withholding the doer of an action, passive voice can create an air of mystery and suspense, captivating the reader’s curiosity.

Arguments Against Passive Voice:

• Clarity and Readability: Critics of passive voice emphasize that it often results in longwinded and less direct sentences, potentially leading to confusion and reduced reader engagement.
• Immediacy and Engagement: Active voice is praised for its ability to create a more immediate and engaging narrative, allowing readers to feel more connected to characters and events.
• Character Agency and Development: Passive voice can obscure the agency of characters, making them seem less active and dynamic. This can hinder character development.
• Showing vs. Telling: Active voice encourages writers to “show” actions and events directly, enhancing the vividness of scenes. Passive voice, however, can lead to “telling” rather than showing.

Using passive voice in fiction writing isn’t grammatically wrong. Before we write off passive voice for good, let’s learn more about it. Then you can decide if using passive voice is right for your writing style.

Practice exercises at the bottom!

What is Passive Voice?

Passive voice is a grammatical structure that simply reverses typical sentence structures. It makes the subject (or person) receive the action instead of doing the action, like in active voice.

In fiction writing, passive voice can be recognized by the use of helping verbs (“was”, “is”, “has been”, etc.) followed by a past participle.

For example:

• Passive: The ball was chased by Balto.
• Active: Balto chased the ball.

The grammatical structure of the sentence in passive voice would be:

The ball (subject)was (“to be” verb) chased (past participle of a transitive verb “to
chase”) by Balto (prepositional phrase).

It’s clear why readers prefer active voice – it creates a clear, concise active statement, while the passive voice sentence is wordy and indirect.

The Advantages of Passive Voice in Fiction Writing

While it may seem better to always choose active voice, there are some instances where passive voice can be intentionally used to achieve specific effects. Some advantages of using passive voice in fiction writing include:

• Emphasis on the subject that receives the action. Passive voice draws attention to the subject (person or object) receiving the action. This can be helpful when stressing a change or impact on a character or setting.
  • Example: “The village was transformed by the arrival of the circus.”

• Objectivity and impersonality. Passive voice can create a sense of detachment which might be more desirable in certain narrative situations.
  • Example: “Mistakes were made, and lessons were learned.”

• Variation is sentence structure. Consistently using active voice can result in a monotonous, dull, and uninteresting rhythm. Break it up by occasionally using passive voice to add variety to the narrative.

When to Use Passive Voice in Fiction Writing

While active voice is typically the preferred voice in most fiction writing, sometimes passive voice can be useful. When is it beneficial to use passive voice in fiction writing?

• To create a sense of mystery. Passive voice can be used to deliberately withhold information, generating intrigue and suspense. Many mystery fiction writers use passive voice often because it allows them to hide secrets when narrating their stories.
  • Example: “The letter had been sent to her anonymously.”

• To shift focus. Passive voice can shift the reader’s attention to a particular part of a scene or event.
  • Example: “The night was filled with whispers and secrets.”

• Expressing passivity or helplessness. Passive voice can reveal a character’s state of mind, vulnerability, or powerlessness.
  • Example: “She was trapped in a cycle of self-doubt.”

• To emphasize the object of a sentence. Passive voice gives importance to the recipient of the action. Typically, the last phrase of a sentence has the strongest emphasis and the first phrase has the second strongest.
  • Example: “The cake was devoured by the starving children.”

Techniques to Identify Passive Voice in Writing

Once you know what to look for, passive constructions are easy to spot. Here are some ways to identify passive voice in fiction writing:

1. Look for a form of “to be” (is, was, were, has been, have been, had been, will be will have been, being, are, am) followed by a past participle (a form of the verb that usually ends in “-ed”).
2. Ask yourself whether there is an action going on in the sentence. In a passive sentence, the object of the action will be in the subject position at the beginning of the sentence.
3. Use writing software and tools to highlight passive constructions. The top two tools to use include:
   • Grammarly: Grammarly is said to be “The World’s Best Grammar Checker”. The paid version checks for passive voice construction highlights it, and suggests changes.
   • ProWritingAid: ProWritingAid not only finds and highlights the passive voice usage in your writing – it also gives you one-click corrections.

Reader Perception and Expectations

Readers are familiar with certain narrative styles based on genre, cultural context, and personal preferences. Understanding how readers respond to different constructions should help you decide whether or not to use passive voice in your writing.

Genres such as literary fiction might lean towards refined and thoughtful prose. This allows for a more generous use of passive voice to express contemplative moods or complicated emotional states.  

However, genres such as fast-paced thrillers usually rely on active voice to deliver immediate impact and maintain tension.

Cultural norms and reader expectations further shape this belief. Some cultures may favor a more indirect communication style that supports passive voice. Others might prefer directness and action, which aligns with active voice.

Ultimately, a writer’s talent lies in their ability to navigate these expectations while staying true to their narrative goals, ensuring that voice choices resonate with their intended audience. 

Remember – the relationship between the writer and the reader is a dynamic one.

Practice Exercises:

Can you identify the passive voice constructions in the 5 sentences below? (Answers follow.)

Exercise 1: Excerpt from “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee

“The courthouse was encased in a hush so thick, only the murmur of Atticus’s voice could be heard.”

Exercise 2: Excerpt from “1984” by George Orwell

“The diary was found by Winston and was hidden beneath a loose floorboard.”

Exercise 3: Excerpt from “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen

“The ball was attended by many families from the neighborhood.”

Exercise 4: Excerpt from “The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Gatsby’s parties were frequented by people of all walks of life.”

Exercise 5: Excerpt from “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” by J.K. Rowling

“The invisibility cloak was worn by Harry as he sneaked around the castle.”

Answers:

Exercise 1: “was encased”

Exercise 2: “was found,” “was hidden”

Exercise 3: “was attended”

Exercise 4: “were frequented”

Exercise 5: “was worn”